I’M IN A relationship that I want to end, but I’m scared to do so because it could cost me my job.
My problem is that for nearly seven months I have been involved with my manager, and I fear he may find some way to get rid of me if I finish with him. I can’t afford to lose my job because I am the only breadwinner in my family as my father and sister were laid off months ago, and my mother has been out of work for more than a year.
I want to finish with my boss because his wife is having a difficult pregnancy and the stress of him not being there for her, especially at nights, is really affecting her.
She had a medical issue one night and had to stay there bleeding and in pain because she could not reach a phone to call him or her family for help. Her pregnancy nearly ended that night.
I know these things because her close friend is my friend. That person told me too, how the wife is sure he is cheating on her because even when he is physically around, he pays little attention to her.
I really feel guilty about this and told him he should spend more time with his wife, but he thinks I want to dump him for the man I was involved with before him. No matter what I say, he believes that. That is why I feel he would do something underhand to get at me if I stopped seeing him.
The thing is, I really like him as a man and would want to continue our relationship if it weren’t for the knowledge of how it is affecting his wife. As a woman, I understand how she feels and would not want what I’m doing to her to be done to me.
But I can’t afford to lose my job, so how can I get through to my boss and lover that he needs to pay more attention to his wife and forget about our relationship?
– Scared
Dear Scared,
Based on what you said, I suspect the wife, through her friend, knows you are the woman her husband is seeing, and is appealing to you to let him go. The fact that you would like to leave him so he can go back to her suggests they have gotten through to you. But the complication is your job as the man may get nasty and fire you.
I would suggest you explain to him that you still want him, but would prefer if the two of you cool the relationship until the baby is born.
Hopefully during this cooling off period he would recognize that he should be more responsible and be there 24-7 for his wife, while you can use this time to look for another job, just in case.
Of course, seeing him every day would make any separation, however temporary, very difficult, but this would be the best for both of you and his wife. – Madame Solutions
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