Statistics from the United States have shown that there has been a huge decline in marriages between the 1960s and 2011, and a significant increase of persons who live together unmarried from 400 000 to 7.6 million in the same time frame (an increase of 1 800 per cent). Interestingly, there is a global consensus via statistical evidence and observation that married people live happier, healthier and longer lives than singles or those who cohabit, and experience lower levels of heart disease, cancers, flu, Alzheimer’s, depression and stress.
Marriage can be compared to building a house, as both of them are a demanding process with rewarding results that require lots of planning, patience, resources and commitment to see the dream become a reality.
The three most important aspects of building a house in my opinion are the foundation, the roof and the surrounding wall/fence.
Digging the foundation is hard work and is critical to how strong, sturdy and secure the remainder of the house will be. It is important to dig until you find rock since your future home needs to have a solid and dependable support system if it is to survive the test of time. It is interesting to note that while digging for rock, the excavator is removing most of the soft, unstable material such as dirt and loose rock.
Possessions
The roof can be very costly to install but is critical in protecting the family and their possessions from the elements. Fences and walls add to the décor of the surroundings but their main purpose is to provide a boundary of protection for the house and family.
The same three components that are critical to building a home are critical to building a marriage.
The strength of a marriage begins with what the foundation of the relationship consists of. Pre-marital counselling provides a great foundation on which to start a family and is similar to digging until you find rock. A good counsellor is similar to an excavator finding and removing the soft material like bad attitudes and unforgiveness, which could damage the relationship.
It is very disappointing that we spend so much time researching and seeking advice as it relates to migrating, choosing a university, making a financial investment, renting a property, buying a car or choosing a career, but we don’t take the same approach with marriage, which is more important than all the above mentioned.
Couples who don’t have mature mentorship normally face more challenges within their marriage than couples who do. Mentorship and family counsellors function as a covering for the couple, similar to a roof being the covering for a house. That person who acts as a consistent covering helps protect the family from those elements that would seek to destroy the relationship. Some of those elements include outside partners, unwise decisions, personality clashes and financial disparities.
Boundaries were created for two main purposes: to keep things/people in and to keep things/people out. Most relationships, especially teenage relationships, have no boundaries and as a result generally end with broken hearts due to unfaithfulness.
Most people choose not to build and if given the opportunity, would prefer to have something ready-done since they get to skip the process of hard work, patience and commitment. Since marriage is similar to building, that’s why “illegitimate” men and women seek to steal your spouses and to destroy your relationships, which you have worked hard at building.
Over time, the value of your property and marriage appreciates and requires maintenance and upgrades. These can be very costly, but on Sunday at 5:30 p.m. at the Gymnasium of the Garfield Sobers Sports Complex, there is a free maintenance and upgrade session being hosted by Family Heartbeat International Network called Standing Straight In The Marriage Gate. Come join my family and me as we are challenged and advised by international family counsellor Reverend Haynesley Griffith. See you there.
