Dear Christine,
I am a 26-year-old woman and lately I have been wondering if I might not have what you call a very destructive pattern in love.
Somehow, even though I’ve always been considered a very intuitive, rather sensitive person, I keep getting involved with men who seem incapable of love – at least, incapable of loving me. Is there such a thing as not being able to love?
I keep finding men who ultimately seem to be turned off by me, even though they come on like gangbusters in the beginning. These guys are almost always very good-looking and I am wondering if this could have something to do with our relationships that forever fail.
Right now, I don’t care if I ever see another man. I’m so confused now I would not know love or recognise it if I stepped on it.
– JL
Dear JL,
Sometimes our lives go through a series of patterns which many times can be traced back to our habits, lifestyles or the way we do things. There may be a need for change. Since you cannot change anybody, you first need to change you. Take a deep look inside and see if you need to make any changes with you.
Unfortunately, however, there are also people who are incapable of accepting and giving love. Yet still, there are those who are quite capable of being loved, or accepting love from someone else, but they cannot return love because of emotional blocks that probably began in childhood.
Some individuals are simply so preoccupied with themselves and their own interests that they cannot take the time to be concerned about anyone else unless that person is willing to totally subjugate his or her own interests.
This results in a love that goes only one way, because one of the partners is too self-centred to share.
It is only when love is mutual – freely given and freely received – that it can grow and the two people involved can achieve their potential, affording the highest peace of mind and happiness.
– CHRISTINE