There isn’t a whole lot that surprises Dexter Griffith and he’ll be the first person to tell you that.
But when he became a father to a daughter after having a son, he admitted to being caught off guard. Growing up in a family of boys, and with he and his siblings having boys of their own, he figured that was the nature of things – at least from a reproductive standpoint.
“I was the last of four brothers, with no sisters so the whole daughter thing was new to me. My whole family is majority boys and we had Darren first so I figured it was another boy,” he admitted. “When we did the ultrasound, we weren’t really sure what sex the baby was but everybody assumed it was a boy. When she popped out during delivery, it was surprising to everybody.”
Naturally after a six-year span of raising a boy, which Griffith was accustomed to, with a girl now in the mix his approach would admittedly have to be different. He would tell you that he was clearly a little skittish during those early moments.
“The majority of things that I would have done with Darren, I kind of passed it over to my wife,” he said laughing.
This was by no means his way of dodging dealing with his daughter, because she’ll be the first to tell you he is an extremely hands-on father. But he did have to go through a brief period of adjustment and adaptation to parenting a girl.
He had to scale down his love of playing basketball, which he had done every day, to accommodate his new duties as a father. It was a sacrifice that he willingly made for the good of his children.
“I still play basketball but I had to curtail it a lot,” he said. “Obviously I had to do the fatherhood stuff of nursery and school, pickups and drop-offs, PTA meetings.
Both of them went to Eden Lodge Nursery and St Stephen’s and we were involved in the PTAs right through. Even now Destinee’s at Harrison College, I am vice-president of their PTA.”
Darren is 19 years old and attends the Barbados Community College and dad considers himself blessed as he and his wife have never had any trouble with their children.
“Darren is and always has been someone that goes about his business, does what he has to do. He doesn’t have a big set of friends and you don’t have to worry about him going out and partying. That has nothing to do with us; that’s just him,” Griffith said. “I don’t think you’ll find another child that operates like how Darren operates.”
Griffith has often deviated from the way his own father reacted to situations. His father never attended a PTA meeting, but he has been involved throughout his children’s school history.
Not only was he trying to carve out his own individual role as a father, but he realised that he had to deal with his children on an individual level because of their different personalities.
“Darren pursued his license and got his license. When I was growing up my father would tell me I can’t get the car for whatever reason,” Griffith said. “But when he got his license the next day he had the car because we knew he was responsible. He’s been like that from primary school right up.”
While Destinee has been a problem-free child as well, he has different concerns that especially pertain to her gender.
“But with a girl now you have to watch for the boys and threaten a couple of them,” he said with a smirk. “I don’t really threaten; it’s just that when I drive in the school I wear a serious face to keep them at bay. Oh, and she’ll be dating at 28.”
Though his daughter hopes he isn’t serious about his dating stance, she and her brother Darren have a very open relationship with their father and talk to him about everything. That hands-on nature has made it easy to talk to his children about the difficulties that may pop up in their lives.
“We’re involved in church and school. I find it hard to send somebody to do something and I’m not part of it because it sends a bad message,” he said. “I got involved in church through my mum. I was christened a Catholic. I stopped going to church for a little while because of my job as a biomedical technician at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital. But when Darren came along we decided that if he’s going to church we have to be there, so he’s been in church from early.”
The St George home that Griffith his wife and children share is a cozy reflection of the tight-knit bond that each member shares within the family unit. The growth of the children is chronicled in framed pictures that capture specific moments in time.
While Dexter and his wife Joan have watched and participated in every moment of change and growth in their children’s lives, he has witnessed the transformation of the circle of life right before his eyes.
“I just want my children to know that I was there for every step of their lives,” he said. “They would echo that there’s nothing that I wouldn’t give my view or do for them. Nothing. When it comes to me, people could probably do me something and get away with it. But messing with the two of them is a whole different story.”
