Dear Christine,
MY GIRLFRIEND AND I have been seeing each other for the past two years. I love being with her and she has most things that I want in a partner.
I consider myself to be lucky to have her and believe she is better than I deserve. We are both 29 and she is questioning where the relationship is heading as she wants to marry, settle down and have children.
I want all that too but I am having trouble with the notion of committing to her forever because I’m still attracted to other women, even though I have never cheated on her.
More worrisome is that I am afraid I’ll meet someone I’m more attracted to somewhere down the road.
How can I be sure that she will make me happier than anyone else I may meet in the future?
– UNSURE
Dear Unsure,
You will always be attracted to other women. It’s natural!
I’m sure your girlfriend will also be attracted to other males but it will not and does not mean you’ll both want to have relationships outside of your relationship with each other.
Regardless of how attractive one’s partner is, there are no guarantees that anyone – male or female – won’t meet someone who is different and appealing at some point in the future.
But those who are mature and committed usually realise they have enough invested emotionally in their marriage and children that they can resist temptation. It’s called being faithful and being a responsible adult.
As to whether or not you can be sure she’ll make you happier than anyone else, I do not know, neither can you know or she know that for a fact. Life happens
However, take heart and don’t chicken out.
If she is much better than you deserve, perhaps she is the one.
– CHRISTINE
