I DEPRESS, I real real depress. Could you imagine, that these people, the World Health Organisation (WHO), wait til Christmas just around the corner, to announce that eating ham could give you cancer?
I don’t know if a group of frightened pigs, who worried ’bout being slaughtered for Xmas, came up with this brilliant idea and called the WHO into an emergency meeting, pushed a bag o’ money across the table and begged them to issue this warning, with the hope that their lives will be spared.
But imagine that these people wait til a couple months before Xmas to tell me, “oh by the way, you see that picnic ham you got your chops on for Xmas, well while you eating it make sure your funeral hymns pick out . . . enjoy”
That news is like telling a child at the dinner table, “oh you see that chicken leg you are about to eat, well that is your pet chicken that we killed this morning and fried.”
Either way, you done lost your appetite.
But not only that, they also said along with ham that bacon, sausages and cured and processed meats ranked up there with cigarettes as a major cause of cancer. Cigarettes!
Man look, I feel them couldda wait til Xmas gone to break this news to me, cause all like now it got me real offset.
Now I ain’t bounds to eat hotdogs, cause up to now I ain’t understand what part of the animal them come from or what them made out of. And even though I like to smell bacon frying I ain’t bounds to eat it neither, cause it does be too salty and greasy. And from the time I found a big piece o’ something like dog fur in a tin of corn beef, I ease off of eating that too. But one thing I like to got in my house for Xmas is a ham.
I don’t care bout Xmas tree, new curtains nor nothing so. You aint even got to buy me a gift, just bake a ham and put he there and I good to go. And now look how these people come and spoil my Xmas by telling me that ham and cigarettes are about the same thing.
I just hoping it is one of those things that a few weeks later they come back and say, “according to new studies . . . .”.
Because you know that does happen. One minute them does tell you eating eggs bad for you, that them does raise your cholesterol. Then they does come back and say, according to new studies them ain’t got nothing wrong with eating eggs.
And I remember when them say, drinking milk was good. Then them turn around and say that the only animals who does still drink milk as adult is humans and that drinking milk was bad for us. Then them come back and say, according to new studies drinking milk was good.
Then them say soya was a good alternative to eating meat and drinking cow’s milk. Then them come back and say that according to new research soya was very harmful and we should avoid using it.
Then them say drinking alcohol in any form was harmful. Then them come back and say, that according to new studies, drinking a glass of red wine every day had benefits for the heart.
So you see what I mean? I hoping that by the time December kick in, that somebody come out and proclaim, that a new study say, that if you eat ham during Xmas it don’t do you nothing. See ya.
Email: madderic@hotmail.com twitter@madderic