DEAR CHRISTINE, MY HUSBAND AND I have been married for six years but right now, I am not sure I want to remain in this union. I have not discussed my feelings with him, as I know he will become very defensive.
In my opinion he has low self-esteem and is very dependent on our relationship. At times I feel more like his mother than his wife.
I love my husband and he has been good to me. When I met him I already had a daughter from a previous relationship and he has accepted her as his child. She is now ten years old. However, I feel as though I cannot continue to stay in a marriage where my husband is so insecure.
If I go to the supermarket, he wants to accompany me and if I have my hair done, he wants to know if I have a “date”. I am tired of all this.
Four months ago I met a man at the gym I attend. He is smart, attractive and seems to know what he wants out of life. We have had a drink twice following our gym sessions, but we are not sexually involved. I wish I had met him six or seven years ago.
What do you suggest?
– M.L.
Dear M.L.,
What exactly do you want me to suggest? Do you want me to tell you have an affair or that you should leave your husband for a man you hardly know?
From all indications, he is just a casual friend. Nowhere have you indicated to me that he is as fascinated with you as you are with him. He may be smart and attractive but you’re also married.
You can help your husband with his “low self-esteem” and “insecurity” by giving him emotional support and suggesting you see a marriage counsellor together. After all, you have admitted that you love him.
You will always find someone who is more handsome, secure and know what they want out of life. However, there is no guarantee that person will make you happy.
Your husband has proven his love, devotion and dedication to you. Look beyond whatever fault you perceive he has and simply work on your marriage.
– CHRISTINE
