DEAR CHRISTINE: I AM A TEENAGER with a problem. All my teenaged friends are having sex and up to this day I have never been kissed.
Is something wrong with me? I am wondering if I should pretend I am more experienced so I can have sex like my friends.
I feel a little left out; especially when they talk about “the good times” they have. What should I do?
– TEEN
Dear Teen:
Thank God you are not one of those teenagers who have to wonder if you’re pregnant or have a sexually transmitted disease. That’s the positive side. You do not have a problem. Consider yourself clean and special.
There is no worse reason to try to “solicit sex” than the fear that you’re being left out. You become vulnerable and “boys/men” will take advantage of you. Your friends are the ones who need to be worried, not you.
What do you really know about the dangers of sex? Perhaps it’s time to have some frank discussions with your parents concerning abstinence and not simply safe sex.
Sometimes teenagers like you are left in the dark because parents or older adults do not share moral values and the importance of being responsible teenagers when it comes to matters such as alcohol, sex, drugs and choosing friends.
Many young people lose their virginity at parties, often under the influence of drugs. I have heard of cases where such young people live with regrets. When they become pregnant is when they then come to terms with the errors of their ways.
Sadly, many end up being single parents, as their “sperm donors” run off in search of other “conquests”.
Do not allow yourself to be pressured into having sex. Sex and love don’t necessarily go hand in hand. You could end up hurt, heartbroken, with an unwanted child, and resentful.
Cherish your virginity and purity and concentrate on your education.
Here’s a final reality: Close to half of the people who are diagnosed with sexually transmitted diseases are teenagers under the age of 25. In fact, over four million (in the United States alone) are infected annually, but no one can tell.
They look full of life, energetic and healthy.
Remember, you’re special.
– CHRISTINE
