FELLOW BARBADIANS, in this our festive season, we must not let our guard down. Had the Wise Men done so, Jesus’ sojourn among us would’ve been very brief.
Let us first therefore dismiss a dastardly report out of Antigua purporting that Barbados will ditch the Queen as head of state and declare a republic in 2016. PM Stuart didn’t go to my old school but he possesses an innate Harrisonality, a noblesse oblige which precludes us classical scholars from engaging in base duplicity.
Neither was the BLP so cowardly and high-handed as to venture into republican discussion without promising Barbadians the opportunity to approve or disagree in a referendum. To suggest Mr Stuart would do so is a grave calumny on his character and one hopes he will sue the perps for defamation, tort and malpheasants.
The head of state question is an interesting one which might have induced the master to wax parabolic thus: the Kingdom of Barbados is likened unto a man who had a car which he inherited from his father. It took him everywhere, gave good mileage, needed no repairs.
But he hated this car. For two reasons: it was made in England and the English had exploited his ancestors. And it was white.
So the man got rid of his faithful car and replaced it with a motorcycle of which he had no experience. He hit a Jersey barrier and broke his neck. Friends, do you see his mistake? Travelling by car wasn’t his problem, it was a particular car.
Similarly, the monarchical system has served Barbados well. There’s no need to change to a republic which sooner or later will attract the adjective “banana”. Smokey Burke and I have suggested that PM Stuart would make an admirable king: King Froon the One. And we can carry on smartly, electing Bajan kings and queens as needed.
But let’s go further. The Queen has been our head of state for 63 years. Can you name a single instance on which she has interfered in our affairs? Demanded that we change our ways? No, she has showered us with nothing but praise and good wishes. Yet some would crucify her.
Meanwhile, right here in our midst, in tones unprecedended since the last British governor left office, a white European man, unbidden and shamelessly brazen, directs and dictates on every aspect of our life from raising our children to punishing our murderers. You can’t poop in Barbados nowadays without EU Ambassador Mikael Barfod sticking his nose in your business.
Herr Barfod says, “The population possibly has to be led forward a bit.” “Led”, Barf? By Europeans who think nothing of bombing innocent women and children in other countries? And where is the outcry? Not even when our Attorney General, a big strapping black man, grovels and kowtows to the demands of foreign bosses and declares, “We are on the wrong side of the law”, as regards the mandatory death sentence.
For the record, the mandatory sentence disadvantaged no one. There were enough appeal and mercy committee safeguards to ensure that no one got a punishment he didn’t deserve. On the other hand, since its removal will put the onus on the judge, which judge is going to run the risk of donning the black cap in today’s vengeful climate?
Only Matthew Farley apparently has the guts to tell the Barfods of this world to butt out. But he should beware. Barfod obviously knows his power. He would not dare otherwise. Could it be that EU aid is tied, not to disciplined financial management, but to sacrificing our very culture and sovereignty to European agendas?
So why not go the whole hog? New country: Barfodos. New flag: an unbroken trident featuring Mia and Froon on the outer prongs, Barfod in the middle. Big ceremony: Massa B arriving in sedan-chair to tie back Bussa’s chains…
Bitterness and ranting don’t set the right tone for a Christmas column. Sweet food and drinks abounding, police band in fine form with carols at St Nicholas.
Yet, Christmas is also about a time like ours when “long lay the world in sin and error pining”. Then He appeared and the soul felt its worth. A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Keep the faith, people!
Richard Hoad is a farmer and social commentator. Email porkhoad@gmail.com
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