An African proverb holds that it “takes a village to raise a child,” meaning that collectively we are responsible for our youngsters’ welfare.
That nugget of wisdom came to mind as we raised our glasses; fell to our knees in prayer at the neighbourhood church; sang to our heart’s content at Old Year fetes; or otherwise welcomed in the New Year while wishing ourselves, families, friends, neighbours, work colleagues and our country collective prosperity, good health and success in 2016.
Such hopes and dreams are worthy pillars on which to build a better Barbados, not simply for the next 12 months but beyond. However, a much better approach must be our plans to help make such well-meaning thoughts a reality. An action-oriented agenda is a necessity.
A good place to begin is to focus on the needs of our children and how they should be raised. That’s where the proverb comes in. The old year ended in Barbados with a vigorous debate on corporal punishment, and for good reason. Almost every day our paper publishes an accurate story about an act of violence involving a youth, often with a gun or a knife. It may not even involve drugs or violence but some unacceptable act that leaves us shaking our heads, asking what’s the world coming to.
In our search for excuses, not solutions, we focus much attention on the courts, the church and school, blaming those institutions for everything under the sun. But we avoid taking a hard look at ourselves, our homes and villages.
When Sir Wesley Hall, an international cricket icon who also used politics and later the church to continue his outstanding career in public service, was a pupil at St Giles Boys’ in the 1940s, boys saluted teachers on the street, stood at attention when adults entered a classroom; and spoke in respectful tones to seniors who were perfect strangers. Back then too, our neighbours had permission to punish other people’s children, who in turn called their parents’ close friends “Uncle” or “Auntie” – an indication of respect.
In today’s environment, parents go to schools to fight teachers; adults use abusive language to children; religious ministers are upbraided for perceived slights; and children call adults by their first names. The youngsters watch as mothers and fathers claim phantom illnesses to avoid going to work. Just as bad, children treat their parents as their “friends,” ignoring the fact that lines which separate parent and child shouldn’t be crossed. Some mothers even try to compete with their daughters by wearing the shortest of skirts because, as they say, “she is my best friend”.
Bishop Peter Fenty, a Bajan cleric in Canada, has complained, quite rightly and eloquently, about that unhealthy drift in parenting by some mothers and fathers who misguidedly fail to discipline and set proper standards for their children and sidestep teaching them responsibility.
We share his view and urge that 2016 become a landmark year, not simply for the celebration of our 50th birthday as a sovereign state but as the period when parents act as parents once again. It’s not a matter of pushing the toothpaste back into the tube. Instead, it’s about taking the practical steps that made Barbados a country to emulate. Permissiveness is not a substitute for responsibility.
With the homicide rates escalating, academic standards falling short and personal behaviour bordering on atrocious, corrective action is imperative.
