Tuesday, April 16, 2024

FAMILY FUSION: Little more to marriage


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There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. – Homer

DEPENDING ON what it is, giving a “little more” may develop or destroy someone’s life. For example, giving your child

On the other hand, an impatient driver not giving a disabled person a little more time to cross the road may result in a road fatality. When it comes to marriage, giving a little more of the right thing may spur on the couple to add more vitality to their marriage adventure.

Sometimes all it takes to make a meal yummier, is to add a little more of an ingredient or two to the mix. If your marriage life is not spiced up regularly with a little more of essential sweetness, it could end up less than appealing. Today, I will suggest some golden nuggets that can ignite and keep the fire burning.

Listen a little more

Communication in marriage is like the lubricating oil in the engine of a vehicle. It keeps the marriage running quite smoothly. A key ingredient in communication however, is listening. Some wives tell me that their husbands just would not listen to them but go ahead and do what they refer to as “bare foolishness”, sometimes at the expense of the family.

On the other hand, there are husbands who report that they become very frustrated and feel disrespected when their wives don’t listen to them about certain matters, but follow through on the same advice only when friends or family give their approval.

When couples listen to each other on a regular basis it engenders peace, understanding, compassion, respect, kindness, forgiveness, tenderheartedness and unity. Listen a little more; it will elevate your marriage.

Appreciate a little more

Both the man and woman need to be appreciated. A thank you for a quick kiss can go a long way toward affirming your relationship and commitment to each other. That’s not hard to do even when you’re juggling insane careers and three kids.

Pausing to deliberately and thoughtfully express appreciation to your spouse in public and in private makes him/her not only feel valued, but also helps to raise the bar of esteem and motivation for him/her. Appreciate a little more; it is a powerful marriage tonic.

Laugh a little more

I am seeing too many couples wearing heavy cloaks of sadness. Unfortunately they acquire this unhappiness from pursuing the “cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches.” Negative stress and protracted distress have become very gloomy features of the lives of many families at all levels of society.

The resultant sadness which may sometimes emerge within family circles could be disquieting. If husbands and wives laugh a little more it may relieve a lot of pent-up harmful stress within the emotions, giving rise to a freer spirit and a more relaxed home environment.

Laugh a little more; it is a marriage booster.

Touch a little more

I continue to meet husbands and wives who complain that their spouses have gradually withdrawn touch from the marriage, although it was a regular habit prior to and during the early stages of their relationship.

Some wives lament that the only time touch presents itself is when their husbands desire sex. Often it is the kind of distant touch which makes them feel less than women. On the other hand, some men grieve that their wives’ touch them only when they give them something tangible like money. Such a touch may take the form of a brief hug or a passing kiss on the jaw.

Holding hands, a gentle embrace, a lean on the shoulders, a regular smooch, a back rub and an occasional massage, are small but yet large deposits made into your spouse’s emotional bank account. There are several immediate and long term benefits from doing such.


Complimenting your spouse goes a long distance in giving positive power surges to the relationship. Express praise to, admiration for, and highly commend your partner in tangible and intangible ways as often as possible. It is good to be specific when expressing compliments. For example, telling your wife a dress looks good on her is putting the emphasis on the dress, but if you tell her that she looks gorgeous in the dress, the focus is more on her.

Speaking of the handsomeness of your husband because of the manner a suit that he is wearing looks on him is more complimentary. Making it a habit of complimenting each other for things like achievements, stability, strength of character, hard work, faithfulness, integrity and godliness is worth the investment. Beyond expressions, give gifts and surprises outside of birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Valentine’s Day and similar occasions. Appreciate a little more; it is like an oasis in a parched desert.


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