DEAR CHRISTINE, My mother is causing me much anxiety and I am finding her attitude difficult to understand.
I’ve always had a lot of friends, including boys, coming to the house, and she was very nice to them. But there is now one boy with whom I am in love and who loves me. He is more than a friend and we plan to marry next year.
Since my mother heard that, she has turned against the boy. She is cold to him and is always pointing out what she considers faults.
She also keeps dropping remarks about what is going to happen to her when I go. She feels that if we insist on getting married, we could stay home as the house is quite big. But this is one thing my boyfriend is against. He wants us to have our own place.
Her attitude is making us quite unhappy. As a result, I feel like leaving home now instead of waiting until next year. I care for my mother but not enough to give up my boyfriend.
– G
Dear G,
Neither should you consider giving him up. It sounds as if, unwisely, your mother has made you the centre of her
life and dreads the loneliness when you get married.
The other fellows were not threats. This one is serious and wants to marry you, which means causing you to leave home. Her attitude could drive you to do the thing she most fears.
I suggest you point this out to her as kindly as you can and encourage her to start building up some interests and friendships on her own so as to take her dependency off of you.
It would not be advisable for you and your fiancé, when you get married, to share a home with her as you’ll surely be torn between the two.
– CHRISTINE
