DEAR CHRISTINE, I am 22 and very shy. I find it very difficult to make friends with girls. I don’t know if it is because I was brought up by a very strict mother.
I was not allowed to run around like other fellows. It was always straight from school to home. I was allowed out to play football or cricket with the boys in my district, and that was it.
Now I am working, I find myself attracted to a girl in my office.
I treat her to lunch sometimes and twice she has gone with me to the cinema. We also talk on the telephone but not for any length of time as both our parents always want to know why we are on the phone talking so long. I don’t feel like telling my mother about her as yet.
Anyhow, my problem is that I am unable to make any advances to this girl. Several times, I would liketo put my hands around her but I have not been able to do so as yet.
I believe that my shyness may cause me to lose this girl to whom I have grown very attached. We are not in a sexual relationship and I admire her for taking the time to take things slow.
What do you think I should do, Christine? I really do not want to ruin our friendship.
– L
Dear L,
I can see that easy affection and touching might be difficult for you. That’s not sufficient reason why you cannot talk about your problem. You’re already working yourself up into a state where you feel she is getting tired of you being so reserved.
Since you are somewhat hesitant on the action part of things, why not put your feelings into words or write them down on paper and share them with her?
Tell her you want to embrace her but shyness holds you back. This girl could not possibly have overlooked the fact that you are shy, and yet she dines with you, goes to the cinema with you and talks to you on the telephone.
You can go a step further and let her know you genuinely care about her.
– CHRISTINE
