DEAR CHRISTINE, I make it a point to read your column every day and now I find myself at the place in my life where I need your advice.
Just over a year ago I became friendly with a young man whom I met through a mutual friend. We were very much in love with each other, but I did some things which I should not have done. In short, I betrayed his trust.
I was recently overseas, where I met an old friend. We took to going out together. Everything was quite innocent, since I had known this guy from the past. However, I had no idea whatsoever that a friend of my boyfriend also knew this guy and knew me as well.
The guy I met overseas returned to Barbados with me on the same flight – to visit his relatives here – and this guy who knows me and my boyfriend told my boyfriend I had picked up with this guy again.
Christine, I have not done anything morally wrong, but my boyfriend says I have betrayed his trust by going out with the guy in the first place. I am trying my best to show him that everything was done innocently, but he refuses to listen. How can I make things better between us, or how can I make up to him?
– L.J
Dear LJ,
While you have stated that you are innocent – and I believe you are – your boyfriend seems hurt that you choose to see this guy while you were abroad. I take it that he placed a lot of faith and trust in you – particularly while you were apart from each other.
We are told to shun the very appearance of evil, so while you “have done nothing morally wrong,” the fact remains that he never expected you to see anyone else but him.
What makes it harder for him is that you and your friend from the past returned to Barbados on the same flight. I would suggest that in the future you stay away from situations which can send the wrong message – especially in a negative way.
On the flip side, I think your boyfriend is being somewhat selfish and a little too jealous. Clearly, he does not believe you are telling the truth. I would not encourage you to do anything to “make up to him”.
Just tell him you’re sorry and that you’ll try never to place yourself in a questionable situation which could hurt him in any way.
Other than that, do not continue to bring up the situation. Allow time to heal. I’m pretty sure he’ll come around eventually.
– CHRISTINE