Dear Christine,
My husband and I are both 24 years old. I love him and my only dream is our future together.
The fly in the ointment is that he wants to have sex all the time and he goes on for hours. I want to do it sometimes for the closeness, but I get no feeling from it all, certainly no orgasm, and I always end up wishing it were over long before he calls it a night. Mostly, I would prefer to just snuggle with the television or radio on.
Do you think I could be cold?
– M.D.
Dear M.D.,
No, I don’t think you are cold. Too much of anything is not good and if too much sex is turning you off, I would say you’re quite normal. What some partners fail to realise is that sex and love-making don’t always go hand in hand and sex is not necessarily love. I sense that you want to spend intimate moments with your husband, rather than have sex with him, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
As a result of your lack of enthusiasm at times for sex, you are not really taking a full active part in the actual act, therefore it becomes more of a duty than something to enjoy.
I am surprised your husband has not picked up on this. Or, perhaps, if he has, he is just concerned about his own sex drive.
Another possibility is that he is able to go on a long, long time under the mistaken impression that this is the way to please you.
Since you may not be lubricating the entire time that he is delaying his climax, you will wish the whole thing would come to an end.
You need to speak to your husband about how you are feeling. I think too often some spouses expect the other partner to read his or her mind. This does not work on any other occasion and certainly not when it comes to sex.
You have got to let your husband know what you like and dislike; in general, how you feel about your sex life, so he or you can make any necessary adjustments.
– CHRISTINE
