I DOAN THINK anybody who has never given birth tuh a child could imagine the pain, the kinda pain a biological mother feels when her child is hurt, or it dies tragically, or it has taken up wid the wrong crowd and ends up in prison.
Even the ones who become paros, walking ’bout the road and eating out o’ garbage cans fuh evahbody tuh see and scorn. A mother’s pain is something, I know, she sheself can’t imagine or could even explain.
The other day I was reading a confession article in the SATURDAY SUN from a mother who was pouring she heart out about her son who she dearly loved, but despite all her love, she had tuh let him go.
he got hooked pon the drugs and was doing some o’ the worst things ya could imagine, including selling bottles and eating outta garbage cans.
The woman talk ’bout the many times he would curse and carry on when he couldn’t get the drugs.
She said dat he couldn’t function unless he was high. She went on tuh say dat in the four years dat she tried tuh cope wid the habit, the boy smash up two televisions, a video and a CD player, a bureau mirror, windows, glasses, plates and doors.
After listing some o’ the many things dat he lick up in the house, she went on tuh talk ’bout the lies, the deceit and the t’iefing from any and evahbody.
But the part o’ this mother’s story dat really touched me was when she said, given his violent behaviour, she had no other choice but tuh let him go.
She said, the deep pain of watching her son, her first born son in handcuffs wid chains ’round his ankles and being held by a prison officer was a heartbreaking sight.
As a mother myself, I felt her pain.
What ’bout the pain o’ the young mother who just recently died from burns ovah 83 per cent of her body because she thought dat her children was in a house dat was burning.
despite people telling her the children was safe, she didn’t see the fire nor the danger, all she coulda think ’bout at the time was dem children.
I doan have any boy children but I have quite a few nephews and I ain’t gine tell you nuh lie, when I hear ’bout a young boy drown or get in tuh a car accident, things like dat my heart does be in my mout’.
I ain’t know how I would feel if something so was tuh happen tuh any one o’ dem.
It would have tuh be heart-wrenching tuh see you big, tall teenage son just lying there lifeless; after the years of grooming, molding and bringing him tuh this stage and age and wid all the dreams and expectations, only fuh him tuh guh long just so.
How does a mother feel? It must rip her heart out.
What ’bout the ones who despite all you give and give up fuh dem, still get duhselves mixed up wid the wrong crowd, duh get involved in criminal activity and end up in jail fuh the rest o’ duh life.
I doan think anybody could understand how a mother feels when she see her sweet son, hated by a whole country, being condemned and getting hauled away tuh live the rest of his life behind bars.
It got tuh be heart-wrenching. The pain, the shame and the guilt she must feel even though she wuk like a dog fuh him, putting he through school, scrambling tuh make ends meet, lest-counting sheself so dat he could get something and dat he wouldn’t feel left out when the other boys got and showing off.
Now after all o’ she blood, sweat and tears, the people doan only hate he, duh hate she like she is the criminal. So, she is now made tuh feel like the very criminal her son is.
And now, a daughter, a sweet young daughter who ain’t see life yet, ended it by jumping off a building and landing in the middle of a busy street all broken up fuh evahbody tuh gawk at, pity and draw duh own conclusions.
Only dat mother knows how she feels, I don’t think dat she sheself understands her very pain, but it must be so very hard fuh her right now. I could only imagine the many times she said, “Why? Why? Why?”
And despite all the support from her other children and perhaps family and friends, she bares it alone.
She too had a son who drowned; another tragedy dat she had tuh deal with and now this.
It must be so hard on her right now but I pray dat we mothers would keep her and all the other mothers like her, whose children have died in one way or another, in our hearts and in our prayers everyday.
• Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.
