THERE ARE SOME people who dream of achieving great things. There are others who merely talk about what they want to do, and then do nothing. Then there’s Tonia Husbands.
The director of Miss Big & Beautiful decided to host a pageant for plus-size women 14 years ago, despite the negativity. Today, it’s still going strong and uplifting women across the country, showing them they are beautiful and can hold their own in a world where size fours and eights are the ideal shape and size.
About five years ago, Tonia had an idea to help plus size teenaged girls, those who might be picked on and even bullied because of their size. She had an inkling of how she wanted to proceed and what she wanted to accomplish. She spoke to a few friends who encouraged her to go ahead but it wasn’t till this year that she was really ready.
“I was a featured speaker at an event called Divas That Dazzle in November and I encountered a young lady, a plus-size teenager, who was smiling at me all the time. When she came to me I realised her eyes were red and when I asked why, she said she was a victim of bullying. Being frustrated, she defended herself and there was a physical altercation,” she told EASY magazine.
“It really opened my eyes to what teenagers go through. I’ve always been so focused on helping the adults that I was not really aware of the seriousness of bullying in schools especially for overweight children, even though I talked about doing something before.”
Subsequently, Tonia recorded and uploaded a video to social media which received lots of positive responses, including from the teen.
“She said that every day before she gets to school, or when she leaves home, she would watch the video to empower her. That really pushed me to say it’s time for me to focus now on these teenagers and to help empower them and lift-up their self-esteem,” she recalled.
“The bullying programme is being done in conjunction with Supreme Counselling for Personal Development. There will be one-on-one sessions. They will go through the full regimen of what a pageant is about, photo shoots, maybe one or two community projects, empowerment and nutrition sessions, the importance of exercise and keeping your body healthy. It is mostly about empowering them to let them know they are beautiful no matter what size they are.
“I will say to the public that we’re not encouraging obesity but we have to understand what these young ladies are going through. I guess too that is what causes them to come to Miss Big & Beautiful when they get older . . . . Because they are still struggling with acceptance . . . . It is very important to me to help these young ladies as much as I can,” she asserted.
The programme, Tonia said, is a “metamorphosis of what I intended to do in the beginning of Miss Big & Beautiful”, a “branching out”, she called it. And, having done 13 pageants she thinks she can turn her attention to the girls.
“When we did our surveys, it was evident that a lot of these young girls and boys didn’t want to go to school. They suffer from bullying when they’re overweight and when they look different; and it’s not really about them being overweight but sometimes if they have a bigger nose or their facial features are different they get picked on.
“There is something that we, as a society, need to stamp out as much as possible. It begins with the parents who have to understand that they have to make the teenagers feel comfortable in their own skin so that when they get to school, it’s not going to bother them as much if someone tells them something . . .”.
The parents or a parent will be invited to “come along on the journey to give them the support that they need”.
Tonia’s focus is on the girls now but she hopes to work with boys in the future.
Some of the former contestants and queens have been sharing their experiences on social media, encouraging the youngsters to love themselves and not to give up hope. From that came the Teen Empowerment Programme, which is not to be confused with the bullying.
“I decided to take eight or nine young ladies between 13 to 17 years old and carry them through the regimen of the pageant. On the night of the show, in October, they will have their opportunity to see what it’s like at a pageant but it has nothing to do with winning or losing because to me they are all winners having gone through this process.
“This started on January 15 and we’ll go for about six months or so depending on how they do . . . . I can’t say enough that this is not a pageant. I’m going to be reaching out to companies to see if they can help so that when the girls go away they remember
the experience.”
Topics will include skin care, healthy eating, self-love and Tonia said there will be fun and team building experiences.
“One of the first things that we’re going to do is how to love and accept yourself for who you are and at the stage you are at. There will be interactive sessions where the parents can come in and understand what they are going through and how they can help them, whether it is changing their diet or giving them a fruit to take to school.
“Sometimes when you put people in different environments, the children may be more comfortable to explain to their parents why they are the way that they are and react the way they do and what I really go through at school because they have a support system. That is the reason we are trying to empower and bring the parents along on this journey,” she explained.
Reflecting on what it took to reach this point, Tonia knows she started a movement, one that has led to more stores selling clothing for plus-size women, Crop Over bands catering to plus size women, and another pageant.
“It’s a different climate now. Years ago you would have never seen this. We have created an awareness, and each frustration over the years was a stepping stone to what I have achieved today . . . . Every day on the Facebook page people from all over the world ask if they can enter the pageant.”
Feeling grateful, appreciated and loved, she praised her family, her pageant team and the public for helping and supporting her through the years.
“There are so many different opportunities and I did not expect that as a young lady doing this from 21 it would grow to this. Now at 35, it is a beautiful thing despite the frustration and the challenges with sponsorship year after year. It is still a joy to see the movement and how far we’ve come and to see the contestants grow from weakness to strength.” (GBM)
