Dear Christine,
I AM ONE of those persons who never thought the day would come when I’ll be writing to you about any problems, but here I am writing this letter with tears in my eyes.
I am 19 years old and my boyfriend is 25. I introduced him to my family and best friend three months after we met. This is a year now that we’ve been friends.
I recently found out that my best friend and boyfriend have been seeing each other behind my back. To say that I am hurt is an understatement. How could people I care about treat me this way?
My parents have told me that I need to “delete them” from my life. When I found out, I got two of them together and asked him who it was he really wanted. Christine, he would not open his mouth to say anything at first. He then apologised to me and told me he needed time to make up his mind. I asked him why was it so hard to say a simple “yes” and “no” and all he said was that “things are complicated”.
My girlfriend has asked me to forgive her and has told me it was just something that happened by chance.
Christine, because of the kind of person I am, I have forgiven both of them, but I am beginning to think that they deserve each other. I am a kind-hearted individual who is gainfully employed and have my own wheels. I do not depend on this man for anything.
He, on the other hand, is self-employed and hardly makes enough money to look after himself. My girlfriend also works and as I have been informed, she helps him out financially.
Christine, I do not think I should remain in a relationship with him. Do you think I should?
– H.M.
Dear H.M.,
I am with you 100 per cent of the way.
Yes, you need to forgive both. Without doing so, you would be making your own life most miserable and unhappy. However, I would not take him back based on the fact that they both deceived you. Let both of them go their way.
I am sure there is someone out there who deserves your love. Give yourself time to heal before moving on to another relationship. Some relationships are full of drama and stress; you don’t need that in your life right now.
– CHRISTINE