ON TODAY’S EPISODE of National Geographic Barbados we take a look at the great Gymazon. The gymazon is a true social hub for humanoids; one can find all types of people when you pass through the doors of the land of the better health enthusiasts.
Scientists have studied them for years and have documented their behaviours. Some of these are:
1. The Newosaur, these are people who for whatever reason, decided that this year was the year to get fit, eat healthy and join the gym. These are pretty easy to spot. They often come in the gym dressed down in all of the correct gym gear and looking slightly clueless on the machines. The Newosaur is single-handedly responsible for the increase in gym population for January-February and in June-August (for Crop Over).
2. Next is the Hulk-ceratops. Every gym got about one or two of these. The hulk-ceratops believes he is the strongest person in the gym. He stacks up all the heavy weight and makes monstrous noises before attempting to lift so that everyone knows he is there and he is strong. He also manages to ‘lose’ his shirt at some point in time during the workout and then the mirror forces him to strike random poses, especially in the ab and bicep region.
3. No gym is ever complete with ‘No-clothes-raptor’. I find that females are the main offenders of this. Check it out. A woman would now start de gym for whatever reason and because she is body conscious she would put on a long tights and a t-shirt. But let two weeks pass and she realise that she’s seeing results. All of a sudden the tights shrink into boxie bandages and the t-shirts are either sports bras or close fitting tops.
Every once in a while you will also find male ‘No-clothes-raptor’; they move from t-shirts to vests and if they remain in the habitat long enough the evolve into Hulk-ceratops.
4. And because every action causes and equal or opposite reaction, there is the emergence of the “Pervadon”. The Pervadon go to the gym to work out, but the muscle that they exercise the most is the eyes. They tend to hang around the cardio machines and the squat rack and are always in time to spot a ‘No-clothes-raptor’. Usually their presence goes unnoticed but there are a few who are so intent on their purpose that it makes the female population a tad uneasy.
These creatures may also be found on Pokemon Go. If yuh doubt me ask me.
I am Toni-Ann “Acka” Johnson. Love, peace and Mazola Corn Oil.
• Toni Johnson is an actress versed in the area of comedy. Email: toniann.johnson@gmail.com