Dear Christine,
MY BOYFRIEND get on well and mix with a friendly bunch of guys and girls. However, lately he has been hinting that we should make love.
I would like to please him although I am not interested in getting pregnant. I am also not interested in getting that involved at this time. He claims it would be okay and that he loves me a great deal and is not planning on going anywhere. He also says there is something called a safe period where it’s okay to have sex without getting pregnant. Do you know if there is a time that’s considered safe to make love?
I really would like to get some information on this matter although I’m not saying anything will happen, but just in case, I would like to know how to protect myself. We have talked about this and he would rather not use anything.
– L
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Dear L,
I suppose what you mean about your boyfriend not wanting to use anything means he does not want to use a condom, so the responsibility of not becoming pregnant rests on you.
The safe period of family planning is not advisable for an unmarried couple who are anxious to avoid pregnancy. This needs to be carefully worked out very carefully, over a lengthy period. If you want to have intercourse with your boyfriend, you should go to your doctor or the family planning unit for advice pertaining to safe sex. While I’d advise you to wait and be sure, that’s a decision you have to make on your own.
I gather you are considering having sex just to please your boyfriend. Don’t be fooled by his promises of being there all the time. If it turns out he is not the one you want to marry, do you plan to go through life pleasing all the men who promise to stick around, only for them to walk out of your life?
Apart from moral questions, casual sex carries grave risks. Use your head: wait and protect yourself. Do not be pressured into having sex if you do not want to.
– CHRISTINE
