For many of us the BlackBerry is a wonderful piece of modern invention, and for many people something they can’t live without. The phones function as a personal digital assistant, portable media player, and a person’s connection to the outside world.
Let’s not forget its ability to send and receive email wherever mobile network service coverage is present, or through Wi-Fi connectivity and, of course, the instant messaging features, including BlackBerry Messenger.
But for all its wonderful features, it does have its drawbacks, especially in relation to relationships. Simply go through our checklist to see if this reminds you of anyone.
1. You can’t get through a meal without emailing, texting or talking on the phone.
2. You look at more than one screen at a time, checking email while watching television, for example.
3. You regularly email or text, other than for something urgent, while your partner or another family member is with you.
4. You sleep with your phone near you, and you check your email or texts while in bed.
5. You log onto your computer while in bed.
6. You have had an argument with a loved one about your use of technology.
7. You text or email while driving.
8. You no longer go outside for fun.
9. You never turn off your phone.
10. When you spend time with your family – a meal, a drive, hanging out – each person is looking at a different screen.
The BlackBerry smartphone is an addiction, controlling lives, increasing stress loads and even threatening relationships with loved ones. This high-tech gadget is leading to irrational and damaging behaviour among owners who can’t say no.
They tell of people obsessively checking them, hiding in the toilet to read emails, and putting them under their pillow in bed so they can answer them during the night.
But it’s the cyber-love that dare not speak its name, an addiction that increasing numbers of people suffer from. How many of us have caught our partner at it in the middle of the night, their sordid antics given away by a faint glow from underneath the bedcovers.
When confronted they promise never to do it again. “I’ll switch it off,” they say. “I’ll charge it up in the living room instead.” But deep down you know they’ll never stop sleeping with their smartphone.
And smartphones are not the only technology that’s competing with us for the attention of our loved ones. It is revealed that many persons were tuning into TV, Internet and games in the bedroom, and could be tuning out of their relationships as a result.
And the phenomenon of the couple at dinner in a swanky restaurant, both tapping away on their smartphones instead of having a conversation, is becoming an increasingly common sight regardless of where you are in the world.
A BlackBerry can prove to be a particularly harsh mistress. As technology has improved, the lines between work and personal time have become blurred, with employees expected to answer emails almost round the clock.
Also, with all the social apps loaded onto the BlackBerry, cyber-socializing has been a rude intruder. Dinner, a movie, time spent snuggling on the couch and even sex can all be ruined by the ‘bing’ of a new email or message. And when you and your partner’s phone are both crying out for attention, it’s often the phone that takes priority. This is no competition!
Modern technology also creates more opportunities for starting an affair – and also for getting caught. Although the reasons why people do the dirty on their partner haven’t really been changed by the gadgets we own, social networking, texting, instant messaging and easy photo sharing have all made it easier to flirt with strangers and begin an illicit romance.
But cheats beware – social networking has also made it easier for your partner to find out what you’ve been getting up to behind their back. One flirty wall post or tweet is all it takes to set the alarm bells ringing. And a secret scan of a suspected cheater’s browsing history or phone messages can often provide all the evidence needed to give them the heave-ho.
Don’t take it for granted that your loved one doesn’t feel slighted just because it hasn’t been mentioned. Take it upon yourself to set appropriate boundaries. If you don’t remember anything else, remember this: regardless of age, spending time together doesn’t mean that it’s quality time. One hour of quality and focused time is better than four hours of being physically present but pulled in many directions mentally. Quality time makes all the difference in a relationship, and when it comes to our loved ones, they deserve our best.
A quiet, close chat is a great way of connecting with family and friends, so we need to remember to make time for talking face-to-face. And when you’re in bed, that’s the perfect time to turn off the tech and tune into your relationship. There are no BlackBerry apps for love and companionship.
