Wednesday, April 24, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE: Difficult trusting hubby after affair

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Dear Christine,
Two years ago, I learnt my husband was having an affair with someone I thought was my best friend. Of course, they denied it.
They had all sorts of tricks; at times she would call and ask for him, knowing very well that he was with her. This was supposed to put me off.
I was very hurt, but I love my husband.  
We have two young children and I do not want to break up our marriage.
When I told him what I knew, he denied it at first, but for some reason he then confessed everything. He admitted I was right all along.
We’ve talked it over quite a lot and decided not to let the affair part us.
I heard from a friend that it was my husband who ended the affair.
Despite all this, I am constantly nagged by the thought of how they could have done this to me.
How can I ever trust him again?
– S.O.
Dear S.O.,
It is really difficult to trust someone after he has let you down – especially if that person is your spouse. However, you’ve got to find it in your heart to forgive him.
Don’t let this affair leave you with a bitter or angry heart. Guard your heart from these things.
You may not have all the answers as to why the affair started in the first place, but you can ask your husband. This could save you from a similar experience in the future.
It would serve no purpose to mull over the past. It would be like trying to saw sawdust. I am certain that it must have been your husband’s love for you, the children, and his own guilty conscience that caused him to come back to you and confess.
The lying and silly game that girl played when she called your home trying to throw you off is part of the folly affairs throw us into.
She is probably having her own heartache to contend with now. I can only hope she’ll be wiser and keep away from married men in the future.
Concentrate on the future. I’m sure you’re not a superwoman, so let time do the healing. You’ll soon be able to trust your husband again, as he too must have learnt quite a lot as a result of his infidelity.
– CHRISTINE

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