Thursday, April 25, 2024

LOOKA LEW: If you want to keep her, buy her a Valentine’s gift


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HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! Yes, today is Valentine’s Day, and in case you didn’t know that, then you need to ask your pet dinosaur to lower his head so you can look at the calendar, ’cause obviously you are living in a cave somewhere.

Today is that day for lovers. I mean to say that every day should be a day for lovers, but today is an extra special day.

This is the day of all the days in the year that you are expected to tell your other half how much you love them and treat them to something nice.

It could be a gift, flowers, or dinner, but you don’t let today pass without doing something special.

However, nowadays, I does hear fellas talking bout them don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day ’cause it was created by some gay man years ago, and how it is only for the merchants to make money.

I also notice a lot of them fellas ain’t got no woman. But let me tell you fellas something, and you ain’t gotta pay me for this advice, it free.

Anything your woman does celebrate, then learn to celebrate too. If you don’t celebrate Xmas but your woman does, well skipper, you make sure you know all the words to Jingle Bells, make sure you got ham and turkey in the house and a gift for her under the Xmas tree and make sure Xmas morning when you wake up you tell her, “Merry Xmas, darling”.

That is if you wanta be around next year. And if you want to score some more points, call her mother and wish her a merry Xmas and buy a gift for her also. You follow me?

So if your woman expects to be pampered for Valentine’s Day then skipper you better pamper her. And don’t use no excuse ’bout you ain’t got no money so you couldn’t treat her to anything.

That will come back to haunt you for the balance of your life and a few years into the afterlife. You will be in line at the Pearly Gates on Judgement Day with the rest of the world waiting to be judged by the Father, and she would point you out to everyone as the man she had who ain’t give her nothing for Valentine’s Day.

You see, the reason why you does can’t use the no money excuse is that Valentine’s Day does be the 14th of February every year.

Now it don’t have to be extravagant. Just do something out of the norm. How about treating the lady to breakfast in bed?

And when I say breakfast in bed, I ain’t mean a cuppa tea and two hard biscuits. I mean something li’l different, like some o’ them imported sausages, marmalade on toast, some home-made golden apple juice, eggs ah-la something or the other, with a rose and a card saying, “Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you.”

Chances are you ain’t spend no more than a $20 bill, but them kinda things does blow women minds, especially when she know that you ain’t no kitchen person, cause the only way you does know when water boil is when it start to burn. See ya.


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