RUSSELL GRIFFITH has just stepped into the shoes of his father Peter Griffith, taking over the administrative reins of Lyndhurst Funeral Home, one of Barbados’ best known funeral establishments.
He is 29 and some might think a bit young for the job, but when it comes to the rudiments of the funeral business he is no neophyte.
“I grew up in the business. From the time I was in primary school this [the funeral home] would have been my after-hours location between school and home.”
Lyndhurst has always been a family business, and as such Russell said, “It has always been interesting to me. As a child you are always interested in what your dad does.”
He spent years preparing for this day because in his heart he always knew it was what he wanted to do. “My father gave me the same choice he gave my brothers. He never said to me ‘I am going to groom you’.”
“He asked me if it was something that would interest me and I said yes.”
But the older and wiser Griffith, knowing the foibles of youth, suggested to Russell he should do something else before jumping into the business, and the youngest of the Griffith sons did take his father’s advice. He went to the Barbados Community College and did two years of law along with information technology, but while it was interesting to see what else there was to do in the society, he said “my heart was always here”.
As a schoolboy he spent two summer vacations working at Coral Ridge Memorial Gardens, assisting with the maintenance of the grounds, putting in eight-hour days.
However, his more serious exposure to the business came when he was 17 and took a summer job assisting at funerals.
“I was the support – making sure the hymn sheets are being properly dispersed; the flowers are being received; condolence books are being signed in the correct place at the funeral – making sure that everything was running smoothly while “Mr Griffith”, or the other funeral director, at the time was taking care of the family because our focus as a funeral director is to make sure that the family is 100 per cent supported at the time and to make sure that nothing goes wrong.”
When he speaks of Mr Griffith, he is referring to his father whom he has succeeded.
Dad and Mr Griffith are different entities, which Russell place in different contexts as he views his new role as the administrative head of the family’s funeral business.
He explains it this way – “Dad is Mr Griffith at work. I learnt early it is important to separate home from work. When I go to Sunday lunch and I call him dad it feels better and it feels more of a family rather than I am with my boss.” He, however, pointed out the posture he was taking at the outset in no way diminishes the respect he has for his father as the figurehead who has brought Lyndhurst Funeral Home to its present stage.
The business protocol comes into play as Peter Griffith enters the room, just checking in as he prepares to set out for a funeral in his role as funeral director yet another time. It is a role he will not be relinquishing any time soon and he makes this clear.
Russell is wearing a maroon shirt under his business suit and asks his father, “Would you like me to change to a white shirt for the photograph.”
Giving his son a quick once-over glance, the senior Griffith replies with little hesitation, “I think so Rus.”
Immediately you realise Peter Griffith is giving his son another lesson in the transition process, as he himself is dressed in the traditional funeral director attire – black and white pin-striped trousers, tailcoat (“swizzle tail coat”; in the Bajan vernacular), waistcoat, and white shirt.
“I have retired from the administration of the funeral home but I will still be there assisting Russell with funerals,” he asserts. About his decision to step aside, he remarks: “He is 29, he is the future. I was on my own at 29 and I think it is time for him to bring new ideas and a fresh start to the business.”
He is still mindful, however, that there are clients for whom the name Lyndhurst Funeral Home is synonymous with the name Peter Griffith and though the father has placed one end of the baton in his son’s hand, these people still want the comfort of knowing the other end is still being held by the man with whom they are more familiar.
Meanwhile, Russell has already begun planning to take the funeral home forward.
“You will see progressive changes at Lyndhurst,” he promises. He is confident he possesses the qualities that make for a good funeral director – patience and understanding.
“When it comes to funeral directing you have to be ready for any situation because anything can happen. When you are dealing with people in general and so much emotion at a funeral in particular, it can be easy, it can be a breeze, but it can be a headache as well.”
“If not handled correctly it can be a lot or problems because you come across a lot of moments that as people grieve sometimes they are not rational and you have to understand that.”
And he fully understands, to the point that his emotions sometimes take over. Russell disclosed his empathy with a grieving family with whom he is interfacing, sometimes moves him to excuse himself for a moment to retreat, release his building emotions, compose himself, and finally return to the room.
“Every funeral director will tell you that as you start in the business your emotions are closer to the surface, so families grieving affects you. But as time goes on, you get accustomed to it,” he says.
Nonetheless dealing with the death of babies or young children still proves difficult. “It is obviously about the family because you want to help them through their difficult time. In the case of the elderly, death is expected and it is more of a comfort to know they have passed and are at rest. So I have learnt to deal with each situation.”
There is the odd occasion when the circumstances of the death and the outpouring of emotion afterwards does get through to him as he attests, mentioning his most difficult moment to date. It was the funeral of a teenager who suffered a “very very tragic” death and “I could feel the pain” he remarked. It is at times like this that he too finds himself shedding a tear.
There should be no wonder this husband and father of a two-year-old son retreats to the solace of home and family to divorce his thoughts from work.
“This job takes a lot of time. I can be called at any time day or night, so when I am at home I try to make it home. I want to try and fill my home time with fun things. I don’t want to be at home and thinking about funerals,” he says.
“I try just to make my home life, family and don’t bring the work home with me.”
Yet the phone call coming at any hour of day or night shatters that shield and Russell is up and ready to face the next grieving family.
gercinecarter@nationnews.com
