“For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance, and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man ‘unclean.’ ” – Holy Bible (St. Mark 7: 21 to 23)
IN SOME CULTURES individuals may talk about adultery in very low tones because it is not a subject for public discussion. It is taboo. The practice of adultery is so interwoven in some societies, including the Caribbean, that it has become an accepted norm.
The “inner heart” Master Surgeon, Jesus Christ however, is loud in His expression about adultery’s evil nature and its desire for “unclean” behaviour.
Having already exposed six “inner heart” diseases: evil thoughts, sexual immorality, lewdness, theft, greed and murder, adultery, all of which are found in St Mark 7: 21 to 23 of the Holy Bible, my attention will centre today on the malaise of adultery.
Webster’s dictionary describes adultery as “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband”. Words like cheating, unfaithfulness, infidelity, affair and betrayal, are some other words people use for adultery.
Over the years, I have seen married couples whose sustained faithfulness to each other must be highly commended, especially in this world system where infidelity has become a staple diet for many. On the other hand, I have found that there is a very callous, reckless and self-centred approach to marriage today.
At weddings, couples publicly make expressions of faithfulness to each other in the presence of invited guests, only to be deliberately and in some cases, habitually broken by one or both parties. The negative emotional, social, financial and mental impact, as well as residual pain that are often inflicted on family members, especially on the children, cannot be calculated in dollars and cents.
Open-heart surgery of the “inner heart” is the only means by which a reversal of the pollutant of marital unfaithfulness can successfully occur. In order to understand why such an important step is crucial, there needs to be an understanding of the significance of the family within the society and the discoveries that support such importance. Let me share a few insights from the spiritual, psychological, social and political perspectives.
Spiritual Foundation
Marriage and family are not human inventions. God, and God alone, set up the institution of marriage and family at the very beginning of time as seen in the Book of beginnings, Genesis chapter 2 of the Holy Bible. The all-wise God designed marriage to be a covenant relationship where the man and woman, in this sacred union, obey God in ‘“leaving father and mother and cleaving to each other”.
After marriage, the couple should lovingly and consistently commit to a “lifelong journey of deep sharing, mutual respect and growing intimacy”. With these two individuals following the divine marriage-governing principles, a healthy environment is essential to produce what God referred to as “godly offspring” (Malachi 2:15). Throughout the years, several family alternatives and substitutes have been introduced, none of which have been superior to that outlined in the divine blueprint, The Bible.
Psychological Findings
According to the Orlando Sentinel, the American Psychological Association conducted a survey of over 1 500 psychologist and the findings revealed, “The greatest threat to mental health in America is the decline of the nuclear family”. What a discovery from those who interface regularly with individuals who suffer with mental health concerns.
Sociological Discovery
Well-known sociologist Barbara Dafoe Whitehead in her April 1993 article in the Atlantic Monthly said “not only does the intact family (biological father and mother living together) protect the child from poverty and economic insecurity; it also provides greater non-economic investments of parental time, attention, and emotional support over the entire life course”. The research findings do not suggest that all intact families are perfect, but it certainly lends credibility to God’s model which was meant to produce sustained stability and security within society.
Political Recognition
In his commencement address at Howard University on June 4, 1965, US President Lyndon B. Johnson said, “The family is the cornerstone of our society. More than any other force it shapes the attitude, the hopes, the ambitions, and the values of the child. And when the family collapses it is the children that are usually damaged. When it happens on a massive scale the community itself is crippled. So, unless we work to strengthen the family, to create conditions under which most parents will stay together – all the rest: schools, and playgrounds, and public assistance, and private concern, will never be enough to cut completely the circle of despair and deprivation.”
Effects of Adultery
Adultery strips the family of its beauty, value and worth. Like a sledgehammer, adultery adamantly and persistently inflict damage to the stubborn concrete walls of marriage, and over time, seriously undermines the very foundation on which society’s stability depends. I have met several husbands and wives, some visibly shaken, who spoke of the emotional hurt and pain that adultery had on their once harmonious home. Children have spoken to me of the hatred and bitterness they developed in their hearts because of their fathers’ and mothers’ extramarital affairs. The distress many children suffer as a consequence of adultery often develop from their having to endure the indignity of financial challenges, neglect, quarrelling, fighting, poor communication and diverse forms of abuse.
The necessity for “inner heart” surgery to be performed to deal with the infectious destructive disease of adultery is therefore a must. The Master Surgeon, with your permission, removes the poisonous “artery” of covetousness that includes illicit sexual desire for your neighbour’s wife (or husband) and replaces it with a fresh “artery” called contentment. Contentment is defined as: “what I have now is enough.” Contentment working hand in hand with unflinching commitment will invariably lend itself to marital faithfulness and happiness.
Can you imagine the number of happy spouses, joyful children, healthy family bank accounts, reduced sexual transmitted infections and diseases, fewer divorces and a decrease in crime rate if the plague of adultery were surgically removed from the “inner heart” of husbands and wives? Get your surgery today and contribute to a healthier society.
Rev. Haynesley Griffith is a marriage and family life consultant. Email: griffitharticles@gmail.com
