Dear Christine,
I AM a 15-year-old who is concerned about my mother.
Christine, I love my mother dearly. I know my dad hurt her when he left us for a married woman whose husband lives overseas, but my mother moved on from there. My dad still supports me and he and my mother have started speaking to each other again. However, they are no longer a couple.
Lately, she has been seeing a man but I do not think he is good for her. I have heard from friends that he is involved in drugs and he sleeps at different women. I told my mum I do not think her “new boyfriend” is good for her, but she just sees me as being jealous.
I do not mean jealous like I am not happy for her, but jealous in that I usually get all the
attention and her time. However, I am not jealous. My mother is in her 30s, so I still consider her young. She is also attractive and has a good job.
I know that she likes this guy; she seems to be in love. They have been seeing each other for five months. Although she seems happy, I do not want my mother to go through another heartbreak.
Please do not think I am a silly teenager who should stay out of my mum’s business. The truth is, I have friends who are street smart and who know people. As I said, the word out there about this man is not good at all. How can I help my mother?
I do not want to see her sad and alone, so do you think I should stop listening to all the talk and just stay out of her business? I told my aunt and grandmother what I have heard but they do not seem concerned.
Christine, please tell me what to do.
– Fifteen and Worried
Dear Fifteen and Worried,
Your letter is interesting. Not many 15-year-olds are so eager and concerned about their parents. My advice is, relax. It appears you have already done what you can do. You have warned your mother and shared what you’ve heard with other relatives. Your mum is the one who must decide if she wants to stay in this relationship or get out of it.
I will tell you that the longer she stays, the more she could be setting herself up if this man is what others say he is.
Your mum is an adult and must make her own choices. Concentrate on your studies and stop listening to “all the talk” about this man. Your anxiety will not help in any way. Just
leave the “situation” alone and be there for your mum if she ever needs emotional support.
– CHRISTINE
