BAJANS ARE SOME of the hardest people to please in the world, hear! I heard a saying that went like this “If you can make it here (New York) you can make it anywhere.” Obviously they have never been to Barbados.
For entertainers and performers this is the hardest truth to live. If you feel that you can go on the people stage and sing crap and get away with it, yuh lie! There are very few singers that talk in key and get away with it. I ain’t calling names.
Tell me the first thing a calypsonian does when they feel they’re losing the crowd.
“Low! Anybody from St Philip. Any body from St Michael. Anybody from Barbados!” This happens every time without fail and you better hope they feel for you and answer. I tell you Bajans ain’t easy.
You remember growing up as a young teen or even now as an adult, and yuh miss and put on lil weight de first thing yuh does hear “you getting fat, dem gine soon gaw stop feed you.” But then as yuh loss de weight dem does look at you and turn up dem nose, “you getting too small, you gine soon blow way.” or “she/he like de got de monster, why dem get suh small?”
Don’t feel that is all, cause Bajans got short memories too. You could say yes to every single thing possible. “Lend me some money”, “yes”. “Babysit fuh me”, “yes”. “I want a ride’ , “yes”. But as dem ask you fuh something and you say no, it is de biggest problem ever. All of a sudden you real selfish and don’t check fuh nobody but yourself.
Bajans unforgiving
Bajans are also unforgiving at times, especially when it come to fashion and hair. So don’t feel that you could come out the house looking like you dress in de dark and the hairdresser hate you and nobody ain’t gine notice. Further more, as we on the topic of clothes, I feel a need to address a slight little issue here. There are those who wear clothes that aren’t meant for them.
Now, I am not against people with size, Lord knows we each have our own struggles, but please understand this, because it says “One size fits all”, it doesn’t mean that you are the “all” that it fits. If it’s tight to the point where it looks like you get compressed into the clothes, then it ain’t fuh you. I saw a man once and from just looking I could’ve seen that he had $4.50 in change in his pocket. If you doubt me ask me.
I am Toni-Ann “Acka” Johnson. Love, peace and Mazola Corn Oil.
•Toni-Ann Johnson is an actress versed in the area of comedy. Email: toniann.johnson@gmail.com