LOOK, YA COULD talk till the cows come home and go out uh graze again, nuh matter how ya talk ’bout how some people driving nowadays, duh just ain’t getting it or some o’ dem just ain’t seem tuh care ’bout nuhbody else but duhselves.
I gine tell you something now, if I didn’t have tuh drive my li’l puma tuh get around and do li’l things fuh myself from time tuh time, I would stan’ home and doan even bother tuh venture out pon the streets when the day come, saying I driving.
I telling you, driving is a headache nowadays.
Ya does have tuh be pon ya p’s and q’s all the time once you hit dat road. You cahn take ya eyes off the road fuh one minute unless you stop at the traffic lights. Then, pon the other hand, if you at the traffic lights and decide tuh check in your bag fuh something and the lights change, the people behind you does start tuh blow duh horn like duh crazy.
Not only then, but another time you might be at the lights and not a soul ain’t behind you and then the lights change. All of a sudden, before you could take ya foot off the brakes and put it pon the gas pedal, you does hear this big loud noise behind you and, look, sometimes the body ain’t even get tuh you yet, ya know.
But duh blowing ’cause dem ain’t want tuh slow down when duh get close tuh you, they want tuh maintain the same speed dat dem coming at, so dat dem could fly straight through the lights.
Don’t talk ’bout pon the highway at all. I does make sure I pick up my lane from early and try tuh stay in dat lane till it is time fuh me tuh get off. But you see the lot o’ changing lanes, in and outta traffic and things like dat? Uh uh! I ain’t fuh all o’ dat nuh more. One time – but if I could avoid doing dah, I holding my lane hear. You could call me wha’ ya like, I might be old but one thing I ain’t is stupid.
Inconsiderate
Look, ya ain’t foolish; you ain’t gine get on pon the highway and drive at 40km, like you would drive pon a domestic road when you know the speed limit is 80km. But dat is snail’s pace fuh the highway. Very few people does drive at 80km; people does be flying past you in some o’ dem high-powered vehicles and the big SUVs like you walking. The part dat does annoy me most is when duh decide tuh just cut cross in front o’ you causing you tuh press pon ya brakes. Dat is not only annoying, it is inconsiderate and dangerous and taking a lot of foolish chances wid people lives. But who cares?
The other thing I try tuh do as little as possible of is driving at night. Some people doan only be driving fast but duh driving wid all, and I mean all, the lights pon the front o’ duh vehicle blazing coming towards you and you cahn see a thing.
Some vehicles now got on the clear white lights dat does hit ya all at the back o’ ya eyes. Then duh got on some li’l bright lights around the headlights dat does also be pon full-beam and as if dat ain’t enough, the fog lights does be on too. You would think dat it does be the people driving the small cars doing this sort o’ thing but, no, it does be the ones in the big trucks, buses and the vehicles dat high up off the road.
One time ya used tuh get report fuh these kind o’ things so but it like it is a thing of the past because the way how things going and people behaving now, evahbody is a law unto heself nowadays.
So I telling all o’ wunna people who does think like me to just be careful ’cause it ain’t look like some people think dat all o’ we does have tuh pay road tax and insurance like dem.
• Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.
