Tuesday, May 7, 2024

Niece making life a living hell

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Dear Christine,
GREETINGS in the name of Jesus! Here I am again after writing to you in October 2012.
My problem was with my niece who returned from England to check on a house which she had sent money to build with her then boyfriend. She was shocked to find he had built the house but she could not claim anything or go anywhere near the house because he had a wife and child living there, and she had no proof she had sent him the money.
I agreed with her that she should stay in Barbados, work and forget him. However, that decision was to my undoing, for now I am tormented by her. She has also tried repeatedly to wrestle the house in which I was born, raised and have maintained since my mother’s death, from me. It is a long story and I will try to make you understand as best as I can.
It all started when my mother allowed her to bring her new boyfriend to live with us. At first everything appeared to be good but as soon as my mother died, they both seemed to want to get rid of me. This is when they showed their true colours – he for the user that he was, and she for trying to get the house for him to live in, with the hope he would marry her. She tried everything she could to make my life a living hell.
I could not take it anymore and asked her boyfriend to leave. Things got worse. One morning he came in  her car to take her to work and began cursing me in the worst way. I told him to leave the property and he said he “isn’t afraid of the police and I can’t do him anything”.
In my previous letter to you I mentioned how my niece seemed to believe in “obeah” because of the things she did. This has gotten worse. It started with her padlocking her bedroom door, fluffing up cushions when you were sitting on a chair and taking the power cord from her radio when
she wasn’t using it. Now we each have our own stoves. If we are both in the kitchen, she takes her pots and pans with the hot food into her bedroom if she has to leave the kitchen even for a minute.
It hurts to see the child I helped raise from eight months old until she was 14 think I would harm her in any way. However, because of my Christian upbringing, I still love her. It also pains me to see her locking her door when she is leaving home or going outside for any reason. She even comes back inside before she leaves to shake and rattle the big padlock to double check.
This sounds bizarre but she washes off the taps after anyone has touched them. Even if my granddaughter [who is just 12 years old] showers before my niece does, my niece uses a bad-smelling liquid to clean the bathroom. I don’t mind her doing it after the adults in the house, but a child?
My brother has stated if she has to leave, so would my daughters and granddaughter since my mother made no will. In December 2012, I spent a large sum of money on paint, lumber and replacing old pipes and taps. My daughter and I worked hard. What we could not do, I paid to have done. My niece just walked through the house without speaking to anyone.
 Last year I wrote each of my brothers who have now returned from abroad to settle in Barbados. I asked them to come to the house and discuss how we could resolve things. They did not respond. I even requested help from the pastor of her church, but he said we should solve things amongst ourselves because it was family business and he didn’t wish to get involved.
I cannot cope anymore. Please help me, Christine. I need peace of mind.
– C.W.
 
Dear C.W.,
Your situation has reached the stage where you have to seek legal advice. It’s true that it’s a family matter which should be solved among family members. However, for your peace of mind, talk to an attorney, and pray about this situation.
– CHRISTINE 
 

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