DEAR CHRISTINE, IN 2002 I met a really nice man who soon became my friend and husband. We were married in 2004.
When we met, he was twice divorced and one of his former wives had already passed away. He had no children from either relationship, but I had one daughter who at the time was ten years old.
Christine, I thought that everything was going fine between us, till I recently found out that he and his ex-wife appeared to meet regularly for lunch.
Broken hearted
This broke my heart but up to this point I have not asked him anything about the dates and the fact that he had hooked back up with her.
My husband spends most of his time at work and home, so I guess that settling for afternoon lunch would be the thing to do.
While I had not said anything, I casually asked him recently if he had lunch at a certain restaurant which I knew he took her to and he said “yes”.
Again I said nothing. I wondered why he felt the need to hide this knowledge from me. It was then I got suspicious that this was more than friendship.
One afternoon, I decided to go to the restaurant when he said he was going there for lunch and sure enough, they were both there. I acted surprised and casually said, “Funny meeting you two here”.
I sat down and ordered my food. I chatted with both of them like this was the normal thing to do. Before long, she got up, excused herself and said she had some errands to run. My own demeanour and attitude was one of maturity.
‘Dead wrong’
When she left I told my husband I was running late for an appointment (which was true) and that he could pay the bill for my food.
At home that same night, he informed me that he and his ex-wife were meeting to discuss legal matters concerning some property which was in both their names. Little did I know too that she had remarried.
So, are you wondering why I am writing this letter?
The reason is to tell readers that things are not always the way they look. If I had confronted my husband there and then or accused him of an extra-marital affair, I would be dead wrong to do so.
I want to encourage husbands and wives not to be overly jealous or fly into a rage at what may appear to be the first signs of cheating.
Sometimes it is just innocent friendship.
– C.C.
Dear C.C.,
Thanks for taking time to write about your own experience. I am sure it is lots of food for thought. It is true that things are not always the way they appear.
– CHRISTINE
