“POLICE ARE INVESTIGATING an incident where a red cap bit off the finger of another during a fight.” That was the first thing that salute me Sunday morning when I turn to the back page of the SUNDAY SUN.
Now it wasn’t a man and a pit bull that was fighting, it wasn’t a man and a electric saw that had a scuffle, it was two men fighting and one bite off the other man’s finger. And there and then I reminded myself why I ain’t to get into any fights with anyone, cause I ain’t so sure if I could handle somebody’ biting off my finger or any part of me for that matter.
In fact, I hate to be bitten, I don’t care if it is by an ant or mosquito. I remember one time a woman’s li’l child bite me, and I ain’t gine tell you no lie, if nobody wasn’t there to witness me biting him back, I would have bitten off one of his little ears, that is how I felt.
That wicked lil two teet child bite me like a centipede.
But seriously, imagine you gone to work with ten fingers, get into a fight and by lunch time you down to nine fingers. Chances are and you continue fighting with that man, you liable to go home with three fingers and one leg if you are lucky.
Anyhow, I checked out the ages of these men who was fighting. According to the papers, one was in his mid-50s and the other in his mid-40s, so them is old-time fighters. At that age fellas does still be cuffing, kicking and biting, in between they liable to pelt a big rock.
No time to waste
But not these modern day youngsters. These youngsters don’t fight, they does shoot, them ain’t got no time to waste cuffing and biting off fingers, they would shoot off a finger first. And some of them can’t shoot so well so they liable to shoot off their own fingers.
But I was studying this thing, you really got to have some strong teeth to bite off a finger. It ain’t to say that the finger cook and the bone soft. Sometimes a fry chicken neck or a brown mint does give you trouble to bite up, so imagine a finger. If you doubt me try biting off one of your fingers.
And then I asked myself, after the man bite off the finger what happened from there? Did he spit it out, swallow it? What?
Because I know that thanks to advances in medicine, doctors are now able to reattach limbs. So if during a fight a man happened to bite off my finger, I know the fight done, I done fighting, I ain’t care who win. My biggest concern there and then would be to get back my finger, to take to the doctor.
I ain’t telling no lie, first thing I would do is to beg him not to swallow it. Then I begging like a dog, “please, please, pretty please, could I please get back my finger please?” I would even buy it back from him.
Because after all, the finger ain’t no use to him. It ain’t as though he could take it home and give the wife and say, ‘look, honey, I aint had enough money to buy you a birthday gift but look, I got you a finger, do you like it?” or that he could give the children and say, ‘look what daddy brought home, I didn’t get the new computer you wanted but look I got a finger.”
You understand what I mean? See ya.
Email: madderic@hotmail.com twitter@madderic