I went to the animal zoo to see a gnu I knew; the gnu I knew would be knew to you, if you went to the animal zoo, the zoo, if you went to the animal zoo!
Gnus, or “wildebeests”, often rush here and there with reckless abandon or make fearsome leaps for no apparent reason. Something like politicians. This makes them easy targets.
Before we get into gnus, let’s do our civic duty and issue some warnings. First, Barbados is now so concretised that death by flood is a major concern.
We understand that “Brocket” Dear drank six beers and peed behind Urlene’s Hideaway in Lower Gully View, the resultant flooding causing two schools and a drug dealer to close for the day.
Frankly, we’re amazed that old ignorant Bajans could build cambered roads with gutters but modern (UWI-trained?) engineers can only build flood-me-quicks. But then, old ignorant Bajans could build swing bridges that swung and you could drive on them too.
Nuff respect to young Ms Parris and fireman Pernel “Fearless” McClean for that daring rescue in the Belle.
However, had she not got the car door open, the ending might have been far different. And we, who hate modern technology, urge you who have electrically-operated car windows to go and knock them out right now lest you find yourself trapped. Do it right now! We’ll wait for you.
Second warning: Barbados now has in place a draconian no-smoking law. We have no problem with the ban. But the law defines a “substantially enclosed” place as any which, among other things, has walls “or other erections” and openings in the walls “or other erections”.
Why go there? The unnecessary emphasis on that phrase is scary. My brother-in-law Paddy comes down every year with a bunch of Canadians. He’s worried they may be relaxing somewhere and one of them is legally smoking when a topless tourist asks him to rub suntan lotion on a hard-to-reach area. And suddenly, Boom!, they’re in patent breach of the law.
Again, I’m surprised my sister-in-law, the senator, who gets to vet proposed legislation, didn’t spot the ambiguity. She usually likes to be on top of such things.
Our third warning goes out to we media people who often go too far. I myself got a stern reprimand recently from a member of the Merrymen for exceeding the bounds of decency. I beg forgiveness. Strangely enough, the message came via the Land Tax Department.
Now analyst Peter Wickham is similarly accused of excesses. It is commonly held that Peter can handle any size poll and not show the slightest strain. That is his forte.
However, another Cave Hill political scientist, Tennyson Johnson, feels that of late Wickham is in danger of “overstretching”. That is a serious situation and Wickham would do well to heed Johnson’s advice not to open himself up to excessive exuberance and risk compromising his reputation on the whole.
This all has to do with Wickham’s claim that Owen Arthur’s leadership appeal has “maxed out”. This is obvious nonsense. Both Dennis Johnson and David Ellis echoed my sentiments last week that Owen Arthur is repeatedly being mentioned as the man to lead us out of the present economic doldrums.
Which suggests there may be quite an orgy of gnu-dancing in both political camps. The Dems need to expose the leader who will take them into the next election, let him select his cabinet and move ahead. No infighting necessary.
Our new minister, Dr David Estwick, should realise the unlimited potential of agriculture. And recall that during the World War II crisis, it was Sir John Saint, an agriculturalist, who saved this island with brilliant measures to ensure food security.
Meanwhile the Bees will have to decide if this is the right time to gamble on an untried leader, whose priorites and direction we can only guess at, or return to the proven Owen Arthur.
Fun times ahead.
Wait, anybody seen those poppets I sent to knock out their car windows? Would someone go and tell them all they have to do is drive with the windows down when it’s raining? Or take off the car doors completely if they’re worried about getting trapped.
