On Tuesday, February 22, this column carried a letter from a woman who claimed that she broke up with her former lover because he was abusive. Since they parted, he has been sending text messages and emails to people saying that she is HIV-positive as he had infected her.
Subsequently we received an email from the man accused of these actions. He sent us the offensive email complete with a picture of himself and the woman.
He claimed that he took this action because she had been unfaithful to him, and was spreading her infection by being sexually irresponsible. That note appeared in this space last Tuesday, March 1.
Today, a neighbour of the two adds his voice to the dispute.
Hello Christine,
I am writing in response to the two letters which involve the young man and the lady calling herself [Ms Hurt] because I am not convinced that you truly dealt with both sides fairly.
Having seen the email myself, and personally knowing both parties involved, it troubled me that you were extremely hard on the young man in question while barely addressing the young lady’s infidelities and blatant disregard for the life of that man and the others she is now putting at risk of HIV.
I live in the neighbourhood in which both parties still live and was a bystander for many years while a great injustice took place on both sides.
The young lady in question, though very unassuming in her appearance, is no angel. This is a horrible situation in which both parties find themselves and no doubt need help.
I must say that even while this horrible situation was unfolding in the gap, she and her mother went about business as usual with the new man the daughter is now involved with in full view of the whole neighbourhood.
Christine, in my humble opinion it is a wicked thing this woman is doing. She shows no respect for herself, the men she is infecting with HIV or their families.
– GH
Dear GH,
Thank you for your note as it gives us greater insight into this sordid affair. Your contribution to this matter has certainly put a different twist on things.
First of all, when the young woman wrote in, she complained of an abusive partner who she broke up with and he was sending out emails, with her picture attached, telling people he had given her HIV, and that she was scared to get tested.
When the ex-partner wrote he stated clearly that both of them had the virus and she horned him, even though she knew she had the virus.
My response to both of them was specific to the issues they raised. I told her to get counselling, get tested, and take the emails to the police and have her ex-partner stopped.
I told him that though he was hurt she had abruptly ended their relationship and was unfaithful, he was wrong to lash out at her by sending emails and pictures of both of them to people, saying they had HIV.
It is a vindictive act and is not right. Your information reinforces my view on this.
Your note suggests that this situation is deteriorating and could get worse. As his acquaintance, I urge you to speak to this man and get him to see a professional counsellor so he can work through his anger at losing Ms Hurt. He is not helping himself or his cause by his actions.
Based on what you said, it would seem this young woman is involved with men who may already be attached. If she indeed has HIV and is engaged in unprotected sex, she could be passing that incurable infection on to an unsuspecting wife or girlfriend.
If this is the case, she is wrong and should stop this.
She needs to be spoken to in the strongest terms by the health professionals responsible for the HIV programme.
Hopefully, that may get her to curb this behaviour. I suggest you call the AIDS Hotline (436-24440) for advice on how you can do this.
– Christine
