Dear Christine,
I DO NOT understand my mother.
She loves when I wash the dishes but I really do not like washing dishes. She picks on me to do everything but never my sister, my brother or my father.
She is always blaming me for something or the other, while the others in my house are always eating and leaving dishes for me to clean.
It is getting overbearing. I believe that everybody in the house should get a chance to do something.
Secondly, she is always on the phone. When I ask her for it, she says “No,” but if my brother or sister needs to use it, she comes off in a minute. I am sick and tired of this now.
I am 19 years old and I am a woman. I just cannot take this anymore.
She always goes out with other men and I know that she cheats on my dad.
Even my brother and sister have seen some of the texts she sends to other men but I don’t tell my dad anything.
She is married to him, but for about six years now she has not been sleeping with him. They do not have sex, but she claims she still loves him. I need help urgently! Thank you.
– For a Worried Child
Dear For a Worried Child,
FIRST, I WOULD ADVISE that you to stay out of your parents’ business.
The number of times they have sex or do not have sex should not be your concern.
However, if you feel that you need to discuss those matters which are bothering you with your mum and dad, you should simply tell them you need to talk to them and share the problems you are having with them.
You have not stated the ages of your siblings, but it is sometimes customary for either the older child in a home or at times the younger child, to do most of the chores. Having said that, please do not feel alone in your situation.
I noted that you stated your age as 19 and went on to say you are a woman, yet you signed your letter, For A Worried Child.
I gather from this that you are caught between your womanhood and being treated as a child at home. This can be perplexing!
If the discussions with your parents fail to produce any positive solutions, I suggest that you speak to a trusted family friend, church counsellor or pastor as soon as you can.
They will be able to help walk you through the way out of your current living conditions. They could also speak to your family on your behalf.
Your situation appears to be urgent indeed, as you simply cannot continue to live under these adverse conditions. Act now and seek that much-needed help.
– CHRISTINE
