THIS WEEK, in the wonderful world of social media, two superstars got into a Twitter feud over the upcoming MTV Video Music Awards. Those two superstars? Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift leads this year with nine nominations including one for Video Of The Year.
Rapper Nicki Minaj, who was snubbed in that category, took to Twitter to state that her lack of nomination (after her video broke VEVO’s records for most viewed video in 24 hours) was unfair. She then alluded to the fact that if she was of a particular body type and “look” that she would have been nominated.
Swift thought that Minaj was unjustly expressing fault for the nomination snub at her, when Minaj should have possibly be blaming one of the men nominated for the same award. The feud was labelled a catfight and many diehard feminists thought the entire disagreement signified regression in the walk towards equality.
Yes, equality. Despite the great steps we women have taken with women’s rights, the walk is far from over. Our economic, business and political sectors are still dominated by men. That said, simply because women may disagree on substantive issues does not mean we are going against the concept of feminism.
The spectrum of feminism varies. It is particularly interesting that in this era, many men automatically view feminists as women with bad attitudes who do not like to shave. Additionally, few have ignorantly assumed that most feminists are lesbians. Whilst I do agree that many men out there genuinely support the advancement of women, many of us women operate at a level which takes us a few steps back in the progress of women’s rights.
One of the most beautiful things in this life is to be in a relationship with someone you love. When we women do not see the relationship as a team effort, make baffling excuses for men and accept compromises because “that is just how this works”, we are taking steps back.
When we view our families’ and friends’ happiness as more important than our own and we continuously put our interests on the sidelines to our detriment, we are taking steps back. We cannot pour unless we are full.
When we mistake little girls’ assertiveness and confidence for them being obnoxious instead of honing such qualities into leadership skills, we are most definitely taking steps back.
When we allow ourselves to solely be objectified for commercial purposes and not allow the world to acknowledge that the concept of “beauty and brains” is not an anomaly, we are taking steps back.
Even worse
When we throw each other under the bus in corporate environments, especially in an effort to gain favour with a male boss, we are taking steps back. Such instances are even worse with female bosses because whilst the female employees are taking three steps back, the female boss is taking six.
We women need to understand that simply because we may not like each other, it is silly to bring antagonistic energies in business settings. It is childish, petty and grossly unprofessional on our parts. I have personally witnessed women enter an establishment and feel the coldness and result of one of the service providers as a result of some “beef” they may have had in the past.
When we hold unnecessary issues with past girlfriends of our significant others, this process signifies jealousy and pettiness, This is a major step back as well. Men hardly do this as often as we women do.
Whilst men are not exempt from all of the aforementioned behaviour, it affects us women more when we behave in this manner because equality has not been achieved as yet. When we walk together, there is room for every woman to win.
Toni Thorne is a fashion entrepreneur and World Economic Forum Global shaper who Loves global youth culture, a great debate and living in paradise.
