Dear Christine,
MY MAN IS A GAMBLER and, as a result, he tells a lot of lies, is dishonest and someone in whom you cannot place any trust.
I recently found out about his terrible ways after watching and tracking his behaviour over a six-week period. Every so often after he is paid, he comes home with some stupid excuse: the office short-paid him, someone robbed him, his pocket had a hole and the wallet dropped out, he got drunk and someone hit him. The man is something else.
My sister and I decided to stake out his workplace one pay day recently and as soon as he got paid, he went directly to the arcade.
He went about 90 minutes there before I became restless and went in and confronted him. His excuse was that he was stressed out and decided to take a chance.
The fellows in the place laughed out loud when I challenged him and revealed his business, saying aloud that he should not come in there so often.
There I am struggling to pay bills, to buy food, to keep things going, and here is this no-good man looking to create undue hardships.
Should I write his workplace and ask that his entire pay packet be sent to the bank or credit union?
– Worried Girlfriend
Dear Worried Girlfriend,
I can understand your dismay and anger given the folly your boyfriend is doing.
Unfortunately, gambling is a disease in much the same way is alcoholism.
You need to sit down with your boyfriend and discuss this problem to ensure it does not lead to the destruction of your relationship.
You must be frank with him and let him know that his responsibilities must come before the temptation to win big by gambling.
You may be unable to get his workplace to send his salary to the bank or credit union as you desire, but he certainly can make such a request.
It is then up to him to have a joint account which would allow you access, especially if you are the better money manager in the household. Of course, do not humiliate him if this approach is agreed on by not leaving any money at all for him.
If he fails to reform and stay clear of this vice, then you may have little choice but to put some space between you and him.
– Christine
